Stacy Murphy, Vice President of Marketing for FMG Austin and author of Permission to Pursue, joins Doug Shapiro at Design Days. Stacy shares a career shaped by design, leadership, and a willingness to pursue work with real meaning. They talk about showing up with intention, building authentic relationships, and finding the confidence to use your voice. It is a conversation about personal brand, leadership, and creating a career that fits who you are.
Doug: Welcome to the Love What You Do podcast. I'm your host, Doug Shapiro. These are the conversations that open doors to what's possible when you love what you do.
Stacy, thanks for joining me.
Stacy: Yeah, thanks for having me.
Doug: You lead marketing at FMG.
Stacy: That's a big company.
Doug: It's a big company.
Stacy: I do lead the Austin division, and also, as of a few weeks ago, the San Antonio division.
Doug: It's growing.
Stacy: We're very grateful for the growth. We're in seven different showrooms. We service enterprise accounts on the East Coast and West Coast — large Fortune 500 companies — and it's just a wonderful place to be.
Doug: Awesome. Yeah. Well, I appreciate connecting with you — you are doing some big work outside of FMG.
Stacy: Thanks.
Doug: Meaning that you're writing a book, right?
Stacy: Wrote the book. Yeah, wrote the book. Publishing in two weeks.
Doug: Wow. Yeah, it's got to be a goosebumps moment coming up.
Stacy: It's surreal for sure. Actually, my distributor is sending me the hard copy to the hotel here in Chicago while I'm at NeoCon, so that'll be the first time I get to touch and feel the printed copy. It's going to be wild.
Doug: Yeah, that's crazy. Congratulations.
Stacy: Thank you.
Doug: So what — I mean, what was your epiphany moment?
Stacy: The why to write the book, or...?
Doug: Yeah.
Stacy: I had a couple people ask me — after I spoke at conferences, or when I would lead groups for emerging professionals, they'd say, "I learned so much. Have you ever thought about writing a book?" And the first time someone told me that, I just kind of wrote it off — like, "That's wild, I would never do that." Then the second time somebody asked me, it kind of planted a seed. And then I think it was the third time someone asked, and I just did a self-reflection moment of: is that something I wanted to do? Would I find purpose and fulfillment in that? And the answer was yes. So I decided to just go for it.
I've always been a voracious reader. I love books. I love to write — I love to even write a good email. The written word gives me passion. So it was just a big moment for me to say yes to it, take on the challenge, and make it happen.
Doug: That's awesome. You know, it feels like you would almost be intimidated at the beginning — I don't know if you had that wave of emotion of "my gosh, what did I get into, I can't do it" — and then the thrill of hitting your stride and knowing the finish line is in sight. Did you have all those emotions, or was it just kind of steady the whole way?
Stacy: Oh, definitely a roller coaster — being a working mom, in this industry, running dealerships, very busy schedule. So honestly, it was voice memos to myself in the car on my morning commute. Then at night I would gather those thoughts and transcribe and edit them, and then early the next morning kind of do the same thing.
I think some people picture writing a book as going off to a cabin for a month — this beautiful, calming experience. For me, it was 30, 45 minutes at a time, whenever I could make it happen. It really only took about four months, because once you commit to it — and our industry is deadline-driven — I had a deadline, so I just had to get it done.
Doug: So if you're a reader of this book, what do you, as the author, hope the reader takes away? What are the big things you hope change?
Stacy: Yeah, so the main topic is really about personal brand, and how it can affect the success of your career — being able to define success on your own terms. It's really written for women of any age, any industry. Of course, I wrote it through the lens of being a millennial woman turning 40 last year, and through the lens of our interior design industry as well.
But my hope is that women can find greater purpose in their work, and figure out what success means to them on their own terms. Throughout the book, besides just reading — there's information and data, of course — there are also worksheets and activities. So by the end, you've read it, you've consumed the content, but you've also come out with a plan.
Doug: Absolutely.
Stacy: It's more interesting that way. Otherwise you read it, walk away, think "oh, I had that moment when I read it on vacation" — but then you're out of that headspace to actually do anything about it.
Doug: Yeah, I love that you get to take this sort of touchstone with you that you can go back to. That's really cool. Okay, so what set you down that path? Was there a moment where it was like, "This is what I'm going to make my career about"?
Stacy: Honestly, no. Design has always been my passion — I knew I wanted to be a designer when I was 13. I went to help my parents pick out furniture for their house, and the guy at the store tried to hire me even though I wasn't of employable age. He just thought I had great taste.
So I've always loved our industry, and through my leadership positions within IIDA, I'm fortunate to work with students and emerging professionals a lot. I found that as I was getting asked to speak and engage with them, they wanted to talk about: how do I develop a career? How do I find advocates? What does that look like? How do I navigate the industry? As I kept getting asked, I thought, "why?" And people would tell me it's a lot because of my brand. I hadn't really thought about it through that lens until people kept pointing me back to it. So then I thought — can I put this down on paper? What I've been able to implement in my own career, for my own success, and help others do the same.
Doug: So what would you say is confusing about personal brand — meaning, what is not personal brand, and what is?
Stacy: The way I define personal brand is what people say about you when you're not in the room. That matters because ultimately you want to be hired by a specific company, you want a promotion, you want a raise, you want specific clients to hire you for a project. What people say about you when you're not in the room is really important, because opportunity comes from those people advocating on your behalf.
But to find the right opportunities — and the right people who can help you get them — you have to know what you want, what matters to you, what your values are. Because if you're not going to find purpose and be your authentic self in your work, you're not going to be happy.
Doug: Yeah, I could see how having a guide through that discovery process would be huge, because exploring those questions on your own is difficult.
Stacy: Absolutely. Yeah. So the second part of the book is all about personal brand and how to develop it — reflecting on your values, what you're trying to achieve, who you're trying to reach. Who's your audience? Is it peers in your own company? Is it your leadership? If you're an entrepreneur, is it clients?
And I basically say, let's ditch the concept of an elevator pitch, because no one's doing that anymore. It's a very antiquated concept — we're all just riding up and down looking at our phones. No one's pitching themselves to a random stranger in an elevator.
Doug: That is so true. You know what — that is, yeah, that is.
Stacy: We don't do that anymore. People find out about others and brands through AI, through social media, through websites now. So if you don't put your brand down in writing, you're just making it harder for people to help you on your career journey.
Doug: The idea of the elevator pitch being antiquated is super interesting — I wonder if there's something deeper in that. Like, you shouldn't feel pressure to boil yourself down to three sentences all the time.
Stacy: Exactly. Yeah.
Doug: But that feels impossible.
Stacy: It is. I mean, we're complex people — there are a lot of layers to us, and work and life are just flowing together in modern life. So I don't think we should try to limit ourselves in who we are at work versus outside of work.
Doug: Yeah, especially in such a visual industry — just exploring someone else's social, you can gain so much from the visuals.
Stacy: Exactly, yes. There's a lot that I write about regarding social media. I think social gets a bad rap — either that it can be really toxic, or that it's just fluff. Like, what's the intent? Is there really revenue-driving activity behind it? To me, I'd say absolutely.
On a personal brand point, that's been a huge catalyst for my own career and opportunities. Best case example: I started out as a designer in Dallas, moved to Washington, DC, was on that market for seven years, had twins, then moved back to Texas to be closer to family. So 10 years had gone by. I was in a new role in Austin, covering Dallas, Austin, and San Antonio sales for that organization.
I got a LinkedIn direct message from an executive — I had designed his corporate headquarters a decade earlier. He said, "I've followed your whole career, I see you're back in Texas working in Dallas, I have a new project — could you help?" I hadn't spoken to or thought of this man in 10 years. But because I was active on LinkedIn — and I use Instagram a lot too — that led to a real, revenue-driving opportunity for me. So I always say, being present and top of mind is the benefit of social media if you do it with intention.
Doug: Yeah, I don't think we should ever feel bashful about those things — or feel like we don't have something to say.
Stacy: I think everybody has something to say. Everyone has a point of view, especially in this industry — we're all creative. We got into it because we have a specific viewpoint of the world.
Doug: So you mentioned your twins.
Stacy: Yeah.
Doug: Outside of personal brand — any advice for new moms, new working moms?
Stacy: Oh gosh. One day at a time. Don't compare yourself to others — there's no formula or secret sauce, everyone's figuring it out on their own terms. Keep true to yourself and your own passions. I think it's really easy for women to lose themselves in motherhood — it was a lot for me, especially with two at once. But keep your girlfriends close, your family, make time for yourself, ask for help. It truly does take a village. Don't feel like you have to be the martyr and do it all on your own.
Doug: That's a piece of advice I really connect with — you don't have to have it all figured out.
Stacy: You said that.
Doug: And I think that goes for so many things. Especially as you elevate in your career — you've probably witnessed this — you start off looking at everyone else thinking, "well, they must know what they're doing." And then you move up, you get older, and suddenly you're in those shoes and realize you have no idea what you're doing.
Stacy: And this whole time, basically, no one has any idea what to do. No one has ever known all of it. The higher you go, the more aware of that you become. I tell that to the students and emerging professionals I talk to all the time — the 65-year-old CEO still doesn't know it all, will never know it all. You know things they don't. It's literally "fake it till you make it" — you just have to be comfortable with not knowing, and ask the questions.
For me, leading dealerships now — I'm only three years into furniture, there's a lot I still don't know. I raise my hand all the time with my team, people who report to me but have been in the business a lot longer, and say, "I didn't understand that, can you explain it to me?" I think leadership has to be vulnerable in their not-knowing, to make it okay for more junior staff to say, "yeah, I don't know either."
Doug: I agree. And I think we almost have to separate leadership from knowing. Leadership is really about helping others be their best self.
Stacy: Right.
Doug: And leadership and management are different too, right? You can be a leader — a great individual contributor — without being a manager.
Stacy: To me, anyone can be a leader at any level.
Doug: Yeah. I think there are so many misconceptions everybody has early in their career — about what leadership is, and this idea that leaders must know what they're doing.
Stacy: That is — we are all just figuring it out together. It's very humbling.
Doug: It is very humbling. And it's fun to be around people who see the world the same way — who recognize that. I can tell you're a very humble person.
Stacy: Yeah.
Doug: I've enjoyed hearing about your book — how about some stories? Is there a life story you love to tell?
Stacy: Oh gosh. I've moved a lot, and I think that's given me great perspective. I grew up in a small town in Texas and then moved straight to New York.
Doug: Wait, what age?
Stacy: I was 17 when I moved to New York. Didn't know anyone.
Doug: So you moved — did you move, or did your family move?
Stacy: I moved. I graduated high school early.
Doug: Get out.
Stacy: Got a scholarship for design school.
Doug: Oh yeah.
Stacy: I grew up in Seguin, Texas — a very small town between San Antonio and Austin. I was just determined to get to New York, applied, and got a scholarship to the New York School of Interior Design.
Doug: Was it what you thought it would be?
Stacy: So much more.
Doug: Okay, good, I love it.
Stacy: It was incredible. I got a lot of life lessons and grew up a lot in that time. When you're young, you don't mind being broke in the city — that's just kind of how it is. I think you've got to be extremely wealthy to be really comfortable in New York, so you just get scrappy. I worked two jobs, went to school full time, but had the absolute best time.
Doug: What jobs did you work?
Stacy: I was a tutor, and I worked at Pottery Barn across from Bloomingdale's. Lots of international customers — I didn't realize how popular Pottery Barn was outside the United States. I was in charge of gift wrapping. People were very particular about their gift wrap.
Doug: Do you still have the touch?
Stacy: Yes, I'm still an excellent gift wrapper. Only for my own gifts now, though.
Doug: That's awesome — you're no longer for hire.
Stacy: No longer for hire. But I think, too, living in the city on my own at such a young age, I realized how much community can happen without it being close relationships. I had a first-floor apartment in a pre-war brownstone in Murray Hill, kind of lower 30s. There was a diner on the corner, and there were guys — busboys — who were always sitting outside when I came home. I didn't really know their names, but I knew them anyway.
One night I didn't come home, and the next day they said, "We were really worried about you." They stopped me, and then we knew each other's names and exchanged phone numbers. They said, "Clearly you're alone in the city — if you ever need somebody, call me." And they were just guys who worked at the diner on the corner. But that's the kind of community that happens in cities, that doesn't happen in suburban America, where a lot of us live.
Doug: I totally — I just got goosebumps. I totally agree. I think misconceptions is becoming the theme of this conversation — things aren't what they seem.
Stacy: They're not. New York gets a bad rap — it's busy, it's crowded, everybody just cares about themselves — but it's actually very community-oriented.
Doug: I've found the same thing, a very similar experience there. It's interesting that even immersed in it, living there, you've had those experiences.
Stacy: Yeah, absolutely. It's amazing — I remember my cousin telling me this too, she's a New Yorker, she lived there. She said, in some ways it can be this great community, but there can also be so many people, yet you can be so lonely at the same time.
Doug: Yes.
Stacy: It's this weird juxtaposition — you really have to make the effort. She said she had friends who were surrounded by people yet didn't have any real friends.
Doug: Right. So it's kind of interesting — New York, the challenge, compared to suburban America, where everybody just stays in their house. You go home, park in your garage, go in your garage door, and they're there for the night.
Stacy: Yeah, there really is that. The neighborhood the kids are in now is very "90s childhood," which is wonderful. Most days when I pull up home from the office, two of my daughter's girlfriends ride up on their bikes and ask, "Hey, can Claire come out and play?" And then they head off on their bikes in the evening. Same thing with my son — which is very encouraging, because soft skills have been a challenge for the younger generation for a while. But they're very warm, interactive, have a sense of freedom, but are still safe — which is really great.
Doug: That is huge. I think we all want that in some way.
Stacy: Even though — we watch too much Dateline at home, so my daughters both know: when you're in a parking lot, you always have to look around.
Doug: Yes, self-awareness for sure.
Stacy: Yeah, yes.
Doug: Well, cool — it's great to connect with you, and I'm excited about your book.
Stacy: Thank you so much. You're on a big adventure.
Doug: And I don't know if you want to close it out with — maybe, how about this question? Because you're a person who clearly loves their work — when you love what you do, what changes?
Stacy: You never get burnout.
Doug: That's good.
Stacy: To me, burnout just means you lost the passion for the thing you really loved — or maybe you were never doing the right thing all along.
Doug: That's really good. There's a comment I heard on burnout once — I can't remember where it came from — someone was explaining it to me: if a car runs out of gas, you don't rest the car, because it won't go again. You have to put more gas in it. And the point was, there are things you do that give you gas — as long as you're doing those things, you won't burn out.
Stacy: Right. Because if you love what you do, that's what's giving you the gas. It's when you're doing the wrong thing that you get burnt out.
Doug: Yes.
Stacy: And being a busy mom — my kids see me work a lot. They come to the office with me on days they're out of school. But they know I really love what I do, and they see how many hours I work sometimes, depending on the flow of the week. I always say it's because I really love problem-solving, I love leading my team — and I try to reinforce a love of work with them, that it's possible, that it's not just a job. You can find a career, and a lot of purpose in what you do.
Doug: Yeah, and I like how you picked out not the job itself, but the things that are inherent in any job — problem-solving and people.
Stacy: My family knows that about me too — yes, I love furniture, but I also love tacos, there are all these other things that are really what I love. I mean, this week — I love this week. This is my favorite week of the year, everyone's together. It's like a high school reunion, a family reunion.
Doug: Revel is like interior design prom, is how I describe it.
Stacy: It's the best. Love Sunday Night Revel.
Doug: Love it. So yeah, obviously — if you can't tell by this episode — we're sitting in the JSI showroom. We've got NeoCon slash Design Days training.
Stacy: Gosh, I hope we land on one name.
Doug: That would be great.
Stacy: That would be great. I wouldn't mind just calling it NeoCon — I don't care, but I know the name's gonna stick for a while.
Doug: I think they're trying to make it Chicago Design Week.
Stacy: That's it — for us all to embrace that one thing.
Doug: That would be fantastic.
Stacy: Yeah, I'd be good with that. As long as we all still get together, I don't care what they call it.
Doug: Yeah, and I know you've been really engaged in IIDA, right?
Stacy: For a long time, yeah. I'm on the International Board of Trustees, and I'm also president of the Texas-Oklahoma chapter, where we have about 800 members.
Doug: Wow. Wonderful. That's a big chapter.
Stacy: Yes, very grateful for the opportunity.
Doug: Awesome. Well, it's wonderful connecting with you — this is great.
Stacy: Yeah, you as well — thank you for the time.
Doug: Yes, I love your energy. And hey, maybe after this we can do an aura reading, if our machine is up.
Stacy: I so want to do an aura reading — that would be the best way to kick off the week.
Doug: Awesome. Thanks for joining me here on Love What You Do.