Love What You Do

The Color of Optimism | Cheryl Durst, International Interior Design Association

Episode Summary

Doug sits down with Cheryl Durst, CEO of IIDA, for a thoughtful, funny, and deeply human conversation about design, purpose, and the moments that shape us. From the connection between comfort and safety to the power of storytelling, Cheryl shares personal reflections, unexpected questions, and a few unforgettable metaphors — including a library, a peppermint-scented memory, and the unexpected color of optimism.

Episode Transcription

(upbeat music)

- Welcome to the Love What You Do podcast. I'm your host Doug Shapiro. These are 

the conversations that open doors to what's possible when you love what you do.

Well, welcome to the Love What You Do podcast, Cheryl. - Excited. - CEO of IADA.

- We were at an event together in January, your event. - We were, industry round

table. - Yes, and there was a magician and she asked a question to us all,

what's your superpower? And I'm not gonna ask you, but I'm gonna tell you one of

yours. - Oh, okay, even better. - One of your superpowers is questions. I think,

and I don't know if there's a more important superpower today, honestly, questions.

Um, but it is absolutely one of your superpowers. So I asked you just some ideas,

just a few questions that might help us think differently. You gave me a list. I

gave you a list indeed. I'm going to start with what I thought might be the

easiest one. Perhaps it's the hardest though. I don't know. What's it like being you

right now? That is the hardest question you zeroed right in on that one.

And, um, And I love that question because often,

when you ask that question of somebody, they'll project, right? And they will tell

you what it's like being someone else.

It is comfortably uncomfortable being me right now.

Huh, meaning that you've gotten used to being uncomfortable? Yes, I have gotten

accustomed to being uncomfortable, I sometimes have this sense that if I'm too

comfortable, that equates to complacence. And that means I'm not doing something or

not doing enough of something. And so if I'm slightly uncomfortable,

it means that I still have work to do. So there's that internal piece.

The tenor of the times is just uncomfortable. And I think that I've come across in

the last couple of years people who generally feel uncomfortable.

And so there is this part of me that wants to nurture and comfort. And so I feel

like I'm doing a lot of that these days, And it takes a lot out of me.

So there is this depletion moment, but I can't stand to see a question unanswered

or a person not satisfied or a situation that doesn't need to be buttoned up or

tied up.

So it's been comfortably uncomfortable because I like doing those things.

- Yeah, yeah. I mean, I have to ask just 'cause there's a component of the

question, what's it like being you right now? And I have to wonder like, was there

an era that you, in your life that was like the comfortable era? - Ooh,

I think a comfortable era for me was

when my children were younger and I was full on mom. I was,

I was still working, but I was in the zone of being full on mom.

And I was surprised by that because I didn't know that I would love it so much.

And I think, you know, a lot of women struggle with that too. And, but I was

doing the thing. They were, They were thriving, I was working,

home was happy, work was happy. And it was one of those moments where oddly enough,

I was expecting it to be difficult, right? I was thinking I was gonna be juggling

all of, having all of the balls in the air. And then I realized it's like, ooh, I

like juggling. I like doing this. - I wonder if like purpose has like,

there's a component of purpose in this equation of comfort? - I think so, and

retrospectively, when I thought about this, I felt like I was raising IIDA at the

same time I was raising my children. - Wow. - And so the two things,

motherhood and CEOhood, if that's a word, combined and merged and conflated with one

another. And it was a really interesting thing for me to watch this organization

grow up as I was watching my children grow up. - You know, there's,

you know, just hearing you talk about comfort, there was a question you asked about

comfort and safety, whether they're the same thing, whether they're related.

Is this something you're exploring in your mind? - I am. I find the connection

between comfort and safety fascinating and I think it is the world that designers

delve in a lot. And so the question I ask myself, is it possible to feel

comfortable if you're not feeling safe in any way, shape or form?

and is it possible to feel safe if you are uncomfortable? And do the two require

one another in some intrinsic deep way? And I'm not sure that I know the answer.

I think the easy answer is you must have one to have the other, but that feels

too easy. And I think at this moment in time, whether it's culturally or socially

or politically or even with physical health, I think we're having an interesting

moment where comfort is not necessarily the order of the day, nor is safety,

you know, we worry about our physical safety, we worry about our psychological

safety, our emotional safety, our data safety and security. There are a lot of

components to safety that I think occupy a fair amount of mind share.

and I also worry about the guilt sometimes that comes with when people feel

comfortable, it's like, oh, am I too comfortable? At the little bit, like for me

that kicks in, it's like almost you're waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like if

things are going too well, it's like, oh, hell no, what's coming around the pike?

- This is interesting, this idea of guilt and comfort. I mean, like I've been in

situations where I feel like I don't deserve something. - It's a little bit right,

it's obviously maybe a little bit tied in with imposter syndrome too when people

start asking themselves, do I deserve this? Should I have this? And it comes up a

lot for me, I have this conversation a lot with people that we do see so much

sadness and oppression and deficiencies in our world.

And then when all of a sudden you have something, you feel guilty that the person

sitting next to you may not have that same comfort and safety and access,

right? We think of all the things that we have. And I think so many of us are

good, kind -hearted people that we want to share, can you share comfort?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, maybe a smile is sometimes maybe the easiest way to get

started. Yeah, yeah, because what makes me comfortable may not make the person

sitting next to me comfortable or feeling safe. That could make someone uncomfortable.

Right, yeah, that's true. A random smile could. Ooh, yeah. unless you're in the

Midwest. Like we love, we love random smiles in the Midwest. That's so true.

All right. So you spotlighted a little of today's uncertainty. I think you called it

the tenor of the moment and the way it feels. And I think those words really

captured that. So it's the right time for me to ask another question from your list

here that I love. What do you have faith in? Hmm.

So,

So I have faith in design, that feels so obvious,

but I do, I absolutely have faith in people who are thinking about and creating and

crafting for other people.

For me, that's a signal that a heart and a mind is in the right place. I have

faith in optimism and that things will get better.

Or if they don't get better, we at least get beyond.

I have faith in my family and my children and my husband because if all else gets

shot to hell, I I still have my family. - I go back to that so often,

like personally. - Yeah. - Like I look at situations where I've messed up. Like,

and I'm like, well, if everybody hates me and, you know, I get fired or whatever.

- Nobody hates you, but you know what I'm saying. - You're a Dutch Shapiro. - You

know, I just know, like, I got that. I go back to that, I'm always gonna be a

hero there. - There you go. I have faith in storytelling. I think storytelling is a

great talisman, even in bad times. It's something that we can turn to,

whether it's you're listening to someone tell a story or you are telling your own

story. And I wouldn't be me if I didn't have faith in books. (laughing) - Yeah,

no kidding. Faith in books, faith in puns. - Bad puns.

words. Yeah. Uh, you know, I didn't ask you this, but I, but I love you always

pick a word of the year, but you don't necessarily always pick one, but you

spotlight word of the year. So you'll, you'll dial into Miriam Webster or whatever

and pick your word of the year. What do you think this year, 2025,

what will the word of the year be? You can't say tariff. Okay. Okay. I can't

'cause I was totally gonna say that.

Unfortunately, on the negative side, I think that one of the words for this year

will just be upheaval and uncertainty because from day to day,

we don't have a sense of what's going to be next. Sometimes we don't even know

what's now or next. So that's on the negative side. I will still lay faith and

stock in optimism because, and I keep hearing it more and more,

people seem to be leaning into optimism. They seem to be looking for optimism.

Just I was on a flight and the people sitting behind me were talking about what's

the color of optimism? You know, I couldn't let that go. I had to turn around and

have a whole chat. And so it ended up being this really fun conversation about

color palette. And on the flight that we were on,

right? Everything on a flight is blue or gray or dull. And so this particular

passenger said, wouldn't it be great to just have a spot of color? The woman who

was sitting on the other side, she said, and she was in her 70s and she was

talking about Braniff Airlines and how they were the airline that really introduced a

lot of color in the flight attendant uniforms and on the exterior of the plane and

on the interior. And so it ended up being this great conversation about now and how

people wish that there were some signal, and color was the obvious one, some signal

to tell us things will be okay. - I feel like color is, it feels like a signal.

I agree, when you were saying blue and gray and boring, I was like, oh great,

I picked the right shirt for the day.

But it's, and none of the folks were in design and it turns out the woman who was

in her 70s who had flown on Braniff was a sociologist and she was

She said, you know, we need color in our lives. It tells us, it tells us how we

might feel, which I thought was a really interesting. She said, it tells us how we

feel. It tells us how we might feel. It just sends this good signal. And so as we

were deplaning, we all decided that the color of optimism is yellow. I thought you

were gonna say that. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Interesting.

You know, I I can't help but draw a connection between optimism and design. It

feels like it's the bedrock of design Do you want to talk about that connection a

little bit? It is In my opinion the most optimistic profession because of the

investment in the human heart and the human soul and designers are crafting and

creating for how people are now and how they will be. And it just for me,

design means that you have ultimate faith in the human spirit. And to have ultimate

faith in that human spirit, you're creating for the best of the human spirit. You're

creating better places to maximize that brain and that heart and that soul.

And whether it's a school, a classroom or a dentist's office or the workplace,

you're believing that human beings will be their best at that moment in that place

or that that place will leave a lasting impression with them. So it might impact

them, but it might be a week later that they were in this special place. - Yeah, I

feel like there's this connection of the profession and then even the designer

themselves, in that moment, you know, you can't help but bring your energy into your

work. You know, if you're, you know, you see that in art,

you can, you can look at the piece and you can say, well, I know I have a sense

of how they felt when they made this. And it probably inevitably happens in design,

whether we like it or not. It has to and whether you call it energy or vibe,

or passion, or talent, it is the ultimate of that human being who is in that

creative moment, creating for another human being or a group of human beings.

And so not only is design optimistic, it's altruistic too, because you're doing this

for someone. And I know you've heard me say this before, but design is about what

happens on the receiving end. And I think a lot of people think that design is

about the designer, but it's about the people or groups of people or cultures or

society that receives that. - Yeah, yeah. All right, I wanna jump into some questions

that I'll just stretch our brains a little here. - Okay.

- Let's talk about the future. Actually, it's kind of talking about the future from

a point of view of today 40 years from now when people ask you about this moment

in time Or ask anybody about this moment of time How do we capture that?

hmm How I would Capture now if I were talking about it if somebody asked me about

now, 40 years from now, there's a part of me that says we spent a fair amount of

time looking for an outlet to charge our devices. Cord management was an issue,

but I think that, like this very moment coming out of O 'Hare Airport and off a

flight and having that conversation with that group of people in the two rows,

I so enjoyed that because there was curiosity and there was civility.

And I think those are two things that we lean into now.

I think right now there's a moment where we're very curious. There's a lot of why

this, and sometimes it's negative. Why is this happening? Why is this happening to

them? Or why is this happening to me? So there's the curiosity piece, but we're

craving civility. And that goes back to that chaos and upheaval moment.

I think that 40 years from now, who knows what technology will have shifted to or

brought us or taken from us. But I think retrospectively now we'll feel like we

were grappling with technology, but when hasn't humankind ever grappled with

technology, like here's fire, here's a wheel, here's a printing press. We've always

grappled with things that purportedly will make our lives better.

But I think there's a huge grappling now that we will see 40 years from now.

How did we manage it? Did we make the best of it? Did we make the worst of it?

And then I think I will recall this moment as perhaps a return to what is

essentially human. There seems to be in thinking about humanity and emotional

wellbeing that this maybe was the moment and maybe because of the pandemic that we

leaned into what does it mean to be human as a human,

but then what does it mean to be part of a community? And how do we support that

community? That was a lot. It was a lot, but just thinking about,

just listening to you speak, thinking about this question, it kind of forces us,

the question itself forces us to like, things that look big right now, or that feel

big, you know, you realize, well, 40 years from now,

no one would make a mention of that thing. - Right. - And it forces you to focus

on like, what are the big things that we're feeling or that are happening, the

really big things. And like you said, it was like you took a conversation and but

you connected it to like, you know, a civility or like a movement, something that's

happening. And I think that's kind of what that question does for me. - Yeah, and

it was, that was interesting because we were two rows of three. There were these

six disparate people who did not know one another. Our only common thread was we

were on a flight from Washington DC to Chicago.

And It was interesting because it was the color conversation that all of a sudden,

everybody had a thought about or an opinion about. And because it was a flight from

Washington DC, you would think that the top of that conversation would have been

about politics, but we could not have been further away from politics. I wonder if

anyone's had a conversation on a plane that has Like gone three rows deep, you

know, like I could see a two row convo, but like a three row big, the biggest

conversation be on a plane. That would be interesting. That would be an interesting

metric. It would mean the people in those subsequent third row, fourth row, have

really good ears. So there is that. Or it is just people, it's just too loud.

Well, there is that too. Um, all right. This is kind of a fun question You sent

me four words rules

Protocols standards and rituals. I say those slowly because you know You must need

to hear them twice Understand that there's subtle differences rules standards protocols

rituals and then there are ones that motivate you. Uh, that you restrain you.

Uh -huh. So, you know, what got you thinking about that? I mean, is this something

that you're exploring in your life or work or? Oh, a little bit,

um, rules, protocol, standards, rituals. I feel like so often we're governed by

rules. Um, we observe protocols.

We're often beholden to standards, but rituals are the things that are closest to

us. And maybe our heart obeys rituals,

but our mind is fixated on rules and standards and protocols. Or those three things

are something that other people impose on us and rituals are something that, that we

give ourselves. Um, but the, the four things are fascinating in a lot of ways.

I think it has everything to do maybe with how you grew up or like, I had 12

years of Catholic school and so a lot of rules, a lot of rules, but there's a lot

of ritual too. Yeah. Um, but But yeah, I'm probably going through a moment right

now where I'm kind of examining and I think we force some things on ourselves too.

Like I'm supposed to sound like this. I'm supposed to think like this. I'm supposed

to dress like this. I might be like having a late midlife crisis or something, but

these structures that are either set up for us or structures that we set up for

ourselves, How do we operate within those structures, but then also what happens when

you break them all down? - Yeah, I mean, actually just the thought of knowing, like

there are structures that I put myself in. - Mm -hmm. - Like, wow, like I didn't

know I was putting myself in a cage, you know? - I might be doing that. - Yeah,

it's interesting because this idea of belonging and what we do to belong.

And so you've got kids, you know, that whether it's middle school and probably even

younger, you know, kids will do whatever they need to do to, you know,

be a part of the crowd to belong. And that doesn't stop in middle school or high

school, I think as we get older, it's that idea of how do we fit in?

But then the flip side of that is thinking of all the ways we don't fit in. And,

you know, but is fitting in a luxury or is it a trap?

- Good question.

Doesn't feel like a luxury. - It doesn't, but you know, we're in this moment now

where we talk about design for belonging and we walk into a space and we wanna

feel as if we belong, we wanna look around and have some touchstones that tell us

I belong here. So there are different levels. I think there are different shades of

belonging. - Yeah, so like fitting in to me feels different than-- - Is different

than belonging, absolutely. - It feels more, what's the word like metamorphic, you

know, like Yeah, you're making effort to fit in, but someone makes an effort to

help you feel like it was. Yeah, you're contorting yourself in some way that's not

true to you to fit in. And sometimes I think that happens consciously. I think that

that can happen unconsciously, but belonging is the other side of that coin where

it's positive and you are belonging I want to belong and there's warmth associated

with belonging, but then there is a coldness to fitting in.

- It almost feels like belonging is something that has to happen to you. - Yeah,

yeah. - Like you don't make that happen. - Right, but fitting in you are, you're

making yourself do that. - Yeah, yeah.

You know, you like to explore words. Uh, there's another subject that I think I,

I'm deep into. So I'm curious to see where you take this, uh, around the basics of

education. Uh, you know, you had called out reading, writing, math,

you know, all the fundamentals. Is that, you know, where are we in the education

journey with that being the core thing? This, are we, are we missing more of that?

Are we, do we need less of it? Or what is the thing? - Yeah, so those three

things that, you know, if you're a certain age, you grew up with, you know,

reading, writing, and arithmetic. We're kind of the basic competencies. And so it's a

question that I'm asking myself are, yeah, we all, yes, we do still need to read.

Writing is incredibly important. And I guess math is too. (laughing) I like I threw

that in there. Yeah, no, okay, math. So I was not a math nerd. Love numbers didn't

like math. But what are the basic competencies for now and next?

The ability to communicate will always be, I think at the baseline competency that

we should always be able to

competently and confidently communicate with others. I think expression and self

-expression will always matter. But there are some of those softer competencies that I

wonder about, like the ability to read the room. - Yeah. - And we did a webinar at

IIDA last week around presentation skills. And reading the room came up in that,

particularly we were talking about in sales and design, where you're doing a pitch,

and what are the signals that you get that you're not engaging your audience. And

so that recognition of what others are receiving or not receiving from you.

I think that's a skill that will carry you well through life. Nobody teaches you

that, though. That's one of those on -the -job things. And it does fit neatly into

that bucket of presentation skills. I think there are other skills that fit in there

as well. But is that something we need to do a better job of teaching children,

students, how to present? Yeah, I think presentation I can't help but go to question

asking I feel like That is a Such a 180 from where we grew up,

right? You know, I mean unless you had like a really brilliant teacher that was

working hard to infuse curiosity in you Yeah, you know where it's like hey read

this chapter and I want to hear everybody's best question, you know Yeah, that was

never something something you've got? - It wasn't, the competency of curiosity.

People think of it as a quality, but I believe that you can develop or uncover or

unveil healthy curiosity. And so it's not just the asking of great questions,

it's thinking of great questions. And so that exercise of thinking of 10 great

questions, you may not know the answers to them, but what are 10 questions you

would like to ask yourself or like to ask of anyone or ask of your parents. Like

I think that is an incredible skill set to have, to quite a phrase. Yes,

skill set. Nice drop. Yeah, nice drop there. It's always great to talk to another

host too, because you just, you know it, you get it.

There was a comment you made. I don't or when, but it stuck with me. This is not

one of your questions. But I'm just, I'm thinking about the title, "Love What You

Do." I'm really personally drawn to it. But you made a comment once, "It's not your

job's job to make you happy." Oh. And I hung on to that phrase. Yeah. Because,

well, first of all, I kind of was like, I want to understand it. You know, I want

to think about it.

When did that come to you? How did that surface? So those are words of wisdom from

Dorothea Stubblefield, my mom. No way. And I was in my early 20s and lamenting

that I wish that I were happier at work. And she said, so do something about it,

if you're not happy, are you not happy with the work? Are you not happy with the

people? Are you not happy with the place? She, my mother was a scientist. You've

heard me talk about her. So she was definitely all about delving into the why.

And I guess I groused a little too much about my unhappiness. And that's when she

said, it's not your job's job to make you happy. And she was Super pragmatic and

super logical, born in the 30s, and she firmly believed that work was work.

And she loved her work. She had, she was a passionate and inquisitive.

She was a microbiologist. And so passionate and inquisitive, but she never believed

that work should make you happy. If it did make you happy,

that was an incredible byproduct, but not to take a job or work for the sole

pursuit of happiness. Yeah, yeah. And that, like with you, that stayed with me and

I wrestle with it still because I don't think any of us want to do unsatisfying

work. I know, that's the piece where I'm That's the, but is the purpose of that,

right? The purpose on the 15th and the 30th, somebody renumerates you for the work

that you're doing, which is great. If you happen to love the work and love the

people, when it's one tidy package, it is amazing. How often is it one tidy

package? And so when one piece of that package does not work for you,

what do people tend to do? If you're not making enough money, you will often go

someplace else. Or if you're unhappy with the work that you're doing or unsatisfied,

you will go someplace else. Have people left work simply because it doesn't fulfill

their joy or their happiness. I wrestle with this all the time. And then given the

life that I have at IIDA where we talk about with our members work and workplace.

This is something for more than 30 years because I was in my 20s when my mom said

this to me. It is something that I have, like if I ever go back to school and

get a PhD, that might be my thesis. - Yep, yep. I mean, there's so much to unpack.

- There is a lot there. - It's interesting that you also, that was something you

wrestled with or even still do, there's a lot to think about. So what's your job's

job? Is the question. If your job's job is not to make you happy,

if you don't subscribe to that, but what is your job's job? That's good.

That is a spiral. Yeah.

We're in workplace. - So let's get into my last big question.

Let's talk about work and place and workplace. And which of those two things is it

more of? Is it more about the work or more about the place? - I think it depends

on the day of the week. I think it depends on the moment in your career.

I think for so any of us who love what we do,

it's the work. It's the work, which feels like me being disingenuous to design

because I know how much the place is intrinsic to the work.

And could I do the thing

in the absence of an amazing place that supports the work, maybe,

big old question mark at the end of that maybe. Sure. When the place can incubate

and support the work and the people and the purpose and the craft,

it all becomes quite this beautiful thing. But I think there are people who can

say, "They don't need the place, just give me the work." - Yeah,

until they have the place. - Right. - And then they're like, "Oh, this feels

different." - All of a sudden, a light bulb goes off. That's like, "How have I been

doing all of this work "without this amazing place?" Yeah, 'cause we've seen that.

We have the inordinate luxury and privilege and honor in this industry to know that

work and place should be one word. Yeah, it's hard also to go backwards in anything

you do. You know, it's hard, you know, and when you experience something that

unlocks a new level of, you know, joy or a new level of productivity or whatever

it is. And then that's gone, that's hard. - I, A,

in talking about workplace, I know that I could never work in a shitty place. I

just couldn't.

Because I know what it is like to work in a wonderfully beautiful,

efficient, effective, functional space that makes me smile every time I walk into it.

You've been into our offices, you know. Like there's a feeling there that supports

the work that we do that is emblematic of who we do this work for of an entire

industry. I can't ever imagine unbundling those things.

And so for me, workplace is this, it's a bundle. - It's a bundle. I like it.

We need, there's probably lots of good bundles out there. - There are some good

bundles out there. - Peanut butter and jelly, you know. - Exactly, ham and cheese.

- Go right to food, I go right to food every time.

Our wife and I were like, we live to eat. It's like, we just like, I don't

Food's, it's food is comfort, food is safety. - Yeah, it's discovery.

- It is, it brings, you know, it's funny when we're talking about curiosity, it,

yes. It's ritual. - Yeah, it's ritual. Like I love making breakfast.

- Yeah. - Like I can't wait to make breakfast in the morning. - There's meaning

there.

There is, you know, Food is love. Yeah. It's - Oh,

my wife's lasagna. Oh, there you go. Like, I can't make this. If she ever left me,

the lasagna would bring me heart. And you don't have the recipe? Oh, I know, I

know. You probably can't make it the way that she makes it. No, I can't. No one

else loves it like I do, but I'm just like, I can't. Yeah. I just have to - So I

think food is a great metaphor. It is, it - Um,

Cheryl, is there a good story you'd love to tell? - Oh, you know, I love a good

story. - You just love to do them. - A little bit ties into the belonging moment.

I was with a group of people and we were talking about grandmothers.

And many of us and the group have good memories of our grandmothers.

We weren't, many of us had lost our grandmothers at an early age. And so my

paternal grandmother in Toledo, Ohio, it was a ritual for us.

I didn't realize it was a ritual at the time. It was just the thing that we did.

But I would walk with her to, we'd go to the bank and then as a special treat,

she would take me to the library. Oh wow. And she, it's funny because I told a

little bit of the story when I interviewed Rebecca Walker

and just the quality of this time with my grandmother. And I was,

I was four, No older than five because I hadn't started school.

I had a late birthday and couldn't start kindergarten with everybody else, the curse

of a December birthday.

And so my grandmother had a deep distrust of banks, but she would bundle up cash

and we would go to the bank and she would get dressed up. It was like a thing

for her. And that was also when I became very aware of buildings because we'd walk

into this bank in downtown Toledo, Ohio and the ceilings were high

and the floors were marble and slippery and it was just this very kind of,

it inspired something in me and I almost felt, and I would hold her hand. I

remember snuggling very close to her and there were guards all over the place. So

we do the thing with money and she talked to the teller and the back then the

tellers were like almost behind a cage. Yeah. And there'd be this transaction going

on. And then she'd look at me and say, "Okay, now we're going to go to the

library." And I got really excited because that's where books live. And one of my

earliest memories of going to the library, and I was an only child and didn't spend

a lot of time around other children. I spent most of my time with my parents and

with my grandparents. We walk into the library and she walked me over to the

children section and Miss Ruby was having reading circle and so there were other

kids there and there may have been a school field trip I vaguely remember these

other children had name badges on and my grandmother said I'm going to leave you

here with the other kids and I'm gonna go I'm assuming she went to go get a book,

but it wasn't until many years later, I didn't realize my grandmother couldn't read.

So I don't know what she did in the library, but she left me with these other

kids and Miss Ruby, who was easily one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen.

I'm fairly convinced she was a combination of Eartha Kitt and Diane Carroll. Like

she turned around and she had this like bouffant hair because it's the '60s. And

she had this beautiful dress on. I remember the color of this dress. Her name was

Miss Ruby, and it was this like ruby red scarlet dress that she had on. And she

looked at me and she said, "Oh, welcome to Reading Circle." And she made this very

elegant motion of her hand, and she said, "Come sit next to me."

There were books, there were other kids, and somebody with this very seductive

beckoning of her hand, I thought those were the most beautiful words, come sit next

to me. - Oh my gosh, yeah. - And I remember being really excited,

and she's holding a book in both hands. I don't remember what the story was.

Bagley, it could have been one of Esop's fables, or it was mythology, I don't,

I, she smelled good. There was this circle, she smelled like peppermint.

So again, like, I don't know if I like later in life, thought it was a red dress

and she smelled like peppermint, but those words come sit next to me.

I thought were the, it just felt beautiful. - It does. And I was welcomed into the

circle of kids who I didn't know. This woman I had never set eyes on in my life

and she invited me to sit next to her and then she proceeded to read. Wow. And it

was magical. And so now, whenever I see kids sitting in a circle,

I always go back to that moment. And the floor smelled It was it was a polished

wood floor and I remember what it felt like sitting on that floor and touching

touching the wood I remember the little girl next to me was fidgeting on a little

bit But she moved over to make room for me because she clearly prized her spot

sitting next to miss Ruby And so she had to move over to make room for the

stranger But it was like the quality of that moment which brought into play for me

the visual of the library, the smell of the books, somebody reading,

somebody welcoming me to sit next to them. There were so many layers in that moment

that still kind of resonate for me now and cause me to think of things that I

know are important in life and in work. - Wow. - Come sit next to me.

Like whenever I have peppermint or smell peppermint, that takes me right back to Ms.

Ruby. - Ms. Ruby, that is so awesome. - Yeah. (laughs) - Aw, I mean, seriously,

let's Ms. Ruby. - Yeah. (upbeat music) - You know, Sherry, this has been a fantastic

conversation. I knew it would be. - It's been fun. - It has been. Thank you for

being a part of this, really. - Thank you for asking me to be a part of it and

keep asking me for questions. I love sharing questions, so I'm just gonna, whether

you ask for them or not, I'm just gonna send you questions. - Please do.

Thanks for joining me here on Love What You Do.